I was exposed to a bad PTSD trigger on Saturday and dissociated for a bit and have been in a state of derealization since. Now that my therapist helped me not panic about this feeling, I’ve found myself curious about how other people have experienced this.
For me, everything seems muted. People and their expressed emotions, colors, general vibes in different situations etc. Everything is just wrong and unsettling. It’s like everything just isn’t existing enough to feel tangible. Iam fully aware that my perception is very wrong because I’ve asked people if things seem off at all and they’ve said no. I was very scared for like two days until I was able to book an appointment with my therapist and now I’m not as scared and the derealization doesn’t feel as disconcerting, but it’s still there. Hoping things will be back to normal when I wake up in the morning.
I’m not entirely certain if I hit full derealization, but I dissociate really hard sometimes.
For me, it feels like I have cookie monster’s googly eyes instead of my own. It is so hard to bring things into focus (it feels like, in reality I can focus just fine in terms of looking at things). I feel just slightly off kilter in no particular direction, but enough of a direction to make me feel dizzy and a little off balance. It induces vertigo pretty awfully sometimes.
Otherwise I feel generally normal, but I just have some days that I have googly eyes.