I was exposed to a bad PTSD trigger on Saturday and dissociated for a bit and have been in a state of derealization since. Now that my therapist helped me not panic about this feeling, I’ve found myself curious about how other people have experienced this.
For me, everything seems muted. People and their expressed emotions, colors, general vibes in different situations etc. Everything is just wrong and unsettling. It’s like everything just isn’t existing enough to feel tangible. Iam fully aware that my perception is very wrong because I’ve asked people if things seem off at all and they’ve said no. I was very scared for like two days until I was able to book an appointment with my therapist and now I’m not as scared and the derealization doesn’t feel as disconcerting, but it’s still there. Hoping things will be back to normal when I wake up in the morning.
It sounds like it would be scary, especially since it is related to your trauma somehow. I’m guessing your body is trying to escape the triggering situation, so you go there involuntary because it was the only thing you could control in the moment.
My $0.02 is that you can either pass the time or control it.
Passing the time is consuming media, playing games, whatever you need to do until enough time passes and you return to yourself. It’s probably not healthy because your body has already ‘let go’ of reality, so I can’t seeing that anchor you. If you just need medicine to start working and you have a safe movie or show, whatever, then I can’t blame you.
Controlling time is maybe an exaggeration, but actively making and things that are persistent might help anchor you. Writing, drawing, painting, any other analog prices where you contribute to the space around you.
The deal is that you must save something from the last time you were not properly connected, and everything else you create needs to go somewhere. If you are writing, drawing, whatever, you can probably collect a lot before you really have to get rid of things. If you are painting and can’t get rid of the canvases, you can always paint over them. Something like pottery might be a little more difficult, but that’s all up to you.