You sound reasonable, and I don’t have all the information, but maybe I can play devil’s advocate.
Suppose your friend is actually a good dad, and is using his time without his kids around to catch up with his friends, listen to what’s topical in your life, and then do something other than talk about his kids?
This is a non-rhetorical good faith question: should kids be the sole focus of their parent’s lives once they have them?
I agree that kids need to be the top priority once people have them, no question there. But aren’t parents allowed to have lives of their own as well?
I don’t have kids and I’m at the age where most of my friends have them. The folks I knew whose only focus was on their kids gradually phased out of the group. Many of those people ended up divorced unfortunately. The parents I see regularly spend most of their time on their kids, but also have hobbies and interests outside of just kid stuff.
People who have their own lives in addition to being good parents seem to be happier and more well rounded. It also makes connecting with them easier for people without kids. I’m up to date on their kids, go to birthdays, and occasionally babysit. We have kid friendly dinners at each other’s homes, go camping with kids, etc… But we also go out once in awhile without them, catch games, play golf.
You sound reasonable, and I don’t have all the information, but maybe I can play devil’s advocate.
Suppose your friend is actually a good dad, and is using his time without his kids around to catch up with his friends, listen to what’s topical in your life, and then do something other than talk about his kids?
This is a non-rhetorical good faith question: should kids be the sole focus of their parent’s lives once they have them?
I agree that kids need to be the top priority once people have them, no question there. But aren’t parents allowed to have lives of their own as well?
I don’t have kids and I’m at the age where most of my friends have them. The folks I knew whose only focus was on their kids gradually phased out of the group. Many of those people ended up divorced unfortunately. The parents I see regularly spend most of their time on their kids, but also have hobbies and interests outside of just kid stuff.
People who have their own lives in addition to being good parents seem to be happier and more well rounded. It also makes connecting with them easier for people without kids. I’m up to date on their kids, go to birthdays, and occasionally babysit. We have kid friendly dinners at each other’s homes, go camping with kids, etc… But we also go out once in awhile without them, catch games, play golf.
I feel like that’s healthier.