Basically when I’m relaxed I act submissively but only when I’m on the alert I am assertive. It’s like when someone asks you a math question out of the blue versus when you know you have to be ready for one.
Is this normal? Or should I try being more passively assertive?
This sounds like you might mean you are usually very passive but, when you’re anxious, you are aggressive?
It is completely normal.
I have no idea what passively assertive is but what you should do is learn when to be “alert” as you call it.
When I am at work I am ready to go. When I am at home I am zoned out and not dealing with it unless it is time to. When I am driving,I am ready to go. When I am chilling on the stairmaster I am in the zone and focused only on the next step.
It’s like when someone asks you a math question out of the blue versus when you know you have to be ready for one.
I have no idea what this means, I’m always ready for math questions. After all, you won’t always have a calculator with you.
Two trains are on the same track a distance 100 km apart heading towards one another, each at a speed of 50 km/h. A fly starting out at the front of one train, flies towards the other at a speed of 75 km/h. Upon reaching the other train, the fly turns around and continues towards the first train. How many kilometers does the fly travel before getting squashed in the collision of the two trains?
34.5
Did I not mention that I’m also always ready to admit I don’t know? I was never particularly good at those problems, I remember you’re supposed to balance the equations some way or another, but I just don’t fucking care. The fly is dead, but also we probably should’ve let it live so we could study how it goes so fast. Forewarning would make no difference in my ability to do this math.
The fact that you are using the word “submissive” in regards to your day to day actions indicates that there is something very weird about you, but probably not what you think it is.
Please help us understand by giving examples
indicates that there is something very weird about you,
Keep your shirt on, English is not my first language. I looked up the antonym it gave me submissive. To submit to someone else’s will for instance?
Please help us understand by giving examples
Someone took a bag of chips of mine. At the time I figured fuck it they’re a buck. If I was on the alert I would’ve probably said something.
I had an anger problem when I was younger. Had that happen at a party with an acquaintance that ran in our circle of friends. Took a personal bag of chips like that, the dollar bag. The worst part was his smug smile while he ate a chip. Snatched em out of his hand crushed em and dumped the bag on his head. Damn near got in a fight over it. Id say your reaction was better than mine, but you also don’t want to let yourself be a doormat. Thankfully I’ve calmed down a lot since those days, but I also surround myself with better people now as well. Somewhere between our reactions is where you’d want to be.
what the fuck does any of this mean?
i wonder if i am so out of touch, or people today are really really this insane/self absorbed.
are you also angry at yourself when you eat because your hungry? or that you use the bathroom when you have to poo?
or should you being more passively-pooping? why not get a colonoscopy bag surgically installed that way you can be passively pooping forever?
I have honestly know idea what c/NoStupidQuestions even stands for anymore…
Perhaps the name is meant to be taken as imperative. No stupid questions!!!
Anyway, y’all can suck it.
inb4 somebody ruder tells you it’s called a colonostomy and a scope is a camera.
I’d say practice being more assertive. Both in reality and find someone to pretend or role-play with that is somewhat like you. Take turns being the angry person you need to call, or random street person asking for directions and try out different tactics and discuss. Mirror situations you’ve experienced and invent new ones that might.
I have a feeling there might be someone who wants to put you under unnecessary pressure in specific situations. Maybe tell them to just fuck off in general
I’m the kind of person that needs permission to be assertive.
Its kinda strange because im used to submissive/dominant and passive/agressive. Assertive is just sorta a need based thing. Im certainly someone who is more comfortable doing things myself or assiting someone rather than directing someone to do X. There are just situations where you have to rely on others though. In most places I worked things are done by department and group and for various specific things you can’t do them yourself. Sometimes due to a lack of knowledge, and sometimes due to a lack of user rights, and sometimes because the rules say so. You have to then make the requests or whatnot. If I need help at a store I need help. So I try to find someone and ask. If not then im out the door and they lost a sale or whatever.
