I was raised to address strangers and those I wish to show social deference to as “Sir” or “Ma’am”. It’s a difficult habit to break, as it is deeply engrained.

What is an equivalent gender neutral honorific that is relatively common in English? If I can’t break the habit I’d rather have a substitute word to use instead of an awkward pause in the middle of addressing someone

I’d just use Google to ask but I’d rather ask the people directly rather than an AI generated answer based off of Reddit threads

ETA: I suppose if Yessir and Yes’m work, Yesn’t could too? Mostly joking… but maybe… 🤔

    • foliumcreations@lemmy.world
      6·
      3 hours ago

      I’ve seen enough posts related to etymology or historical use of words where they, either misrepresent the facts to fit a narrative or just make shit up, that I try to look it up my self. I also find etymology fascinating so that helps.

      In this case they are absolutely right.

      Both Mr and. Mrs,ms are derived from master and mistress (teachers) and both of those words stem from the Latin word Magister.

      Edit: fun fact the English verb stick is the same word as the noun stick and comes from the same origin the Germanic word stik which also meant a piece of wood and to pierce/adhere or sharp. But wait it’s older than that the Latin word stigare also means pierce. And share the same ancestry, namely indo-european. Turns out we humans have been talking about sticks for a long time.

    • qarbone@lemmy.worldEnglish
      5·
      8 hours ago

      …why not just “magister” and avoid a word that already has very strong, current connotations with fantasy?

      • Mesa@programming.dev
        1·
        50 minutes ago

        Let’s hit “magister” and then work our way down. I swear to god I’d change the shit out of my pronouns to fit mage.

        The issue, I guess, is that Mr./Ms. have had centuries to be normalized into common use, whereas “magister” still holds a bit of prestige or honor to it. I’m just spitballin’. I’m definitely going to read more into this when I have some time.

  • nylo@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    5·
    13 hours ago

    I love this question and the discourse it’s spawned!

    personally I’ll use “friend” if I’m at all acquainted with the other person or bend over backwards to not use one if I’m not. not too hard to leave it out if you try, and like anything becomes second nature pretty quick.

    that being said I do use “chef” a lot, especially the phrase “heard, chef!” and I haven’t worked in a kitchen in almost a decade lol

  • CerebralHawks@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    55·
    21 hours ago

    FWIW, Sir is gender neutral in the military — this came up in Star Trek Voyager, anyway. Basically if your senior officer isn’t male, they’re sir until they tell you otherwise.

    • HikingVet@lemmy.ca
      19·
      18 hours ago

      Sir is gender neutral in fictional militaries. Every woman holding a commission I ever encountered was ma’am. Didn’t matter the country.

    • theherk@lemmy.world
      10·
      21 hours ago

      Not sure what military you served in, but the one I served in definitely didn’t call women sir until instructed otherwise. However, “mister” may be correct for all warrant officers.

      • CerebralHawks@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
        1·
        3 hours ago

        Um, Starfleet… as mentioned (Star Trek Voyager… Star Trek’s Starfleet is inspired by the Navy).

        I never served… Mostly due to health reasons

        • theherk@lemmy.world
          2·
          3 hours ago

          Oh I misunderstood you. I thought you were using the Star Trek reference as just a supporting claim that militaries follow this practice. But I see now you meant only in that context.

      • cobysev@lemmy.worldEnglish
        16·
        20 hours ago

        I served in the US Air Force. Everyone was “Sir” or “Ma’am” and it was very gender-specific. Even for the few years we allowed transgender folks to serve (before Trump banned them), you referred to them by their preferred transition title.

        We don’t have warrant officers in the Air Force, so I can’t speak to their title of address.

        • theherk@lemmy.world
          4·
          19 hours ago

          Same, USAF but decades ago. It was actually the USAF protocol office I called to verify the “mister” address for WO. Not because we had them, but because they still have protocol for how to address them, generally army chopper pilots if I recall.

          eta: I should also clarify that I don’t know that to be true. It could easily be one of those ID-10t situations where somebody tricked us into calling protocol and they went along with it. Could be complete bullshit.

          • cobysev@lemmy.worldEnglish
            6·
            19 hours ago

            When I served (2002-2022), we were always told that warrant officers are technically officers, so treat them the same as any officer. So we would’ve addressed them as Sir or Ma’am if we came across them. As well as saluting them if we met them outside.

            I don’t recall ever addressing anyone as “Mister” in the service. Heck, I retired a few years ago and now I feel weird when people call me Mr. [Last Name]. I got so used to being called by my rank and last name for 2 decades. Mister just sounds wrong.

    • givesomefucks@lemmy.worldEnglish
      7·
      21 hours ago

      Not really…

      Like, yeah, probably in Star Trek, but that would have been a projected evolution of modern society, not a reflection of current reality.

      Everyone would assume “sir” and if it’s over an email no one is getting worked up about it.

      But call a female officer “sir” to her face and I don’t think it will go well